Ben
by Indelible Evidence
Summary: When Bethany Knight-Weller nervously comes out as a transgender boy, not everyone in the room is happy. No matter what gender he is, Kurt is determined to support and protect the son he's only just realising he has. Touches on the subjects of gender dysphoria and transphobia. Set post-canon, when Kurt and Allie's child is eleven years old.


**Author's Note: **The Blindspot fandom doesn't seem to have any fics with trans characters, so I thought I'd try to write one, just because I can, really. And the character in question is eleven-year-old Bethany Knight-Weller, Kurt and Allie's daughter (or as they realise in this AU, their son).

This is about as close to a parenting fic for Kurt and Jane that I'll ever write, since I'm not a huge fan of kidfic. Plus I'm not a parent, so I'm not writing from experience there! As an agender person whose best friend is a trans man, though I do know a fair amount about trans issues.

If you 'don't agree with' transgender people or trans rights, you can click the back button and go on with your day. I have no interest in hearing your transphobic thoughts, so don't bother leaving them. Thank you! :)

* * *

Kurt traded concerned looks with Jane, Allie and Connor as their eleven-year-old daughter carefully carried a tray of coffee mugs into the room. Bethany had been a mess of nervous energy all day, and now that her grandparents had arrived—both Connor's mother and Allie's parents—she was determined to play the good host before she told them why she'd gathered them all together on a Saturday afternoon.

He got up and took the tray from his daughter before she tripped and sent mugs flying in all directions. "I got this, don't worry."

"Thanks, Dad," Bethany said, gratefully releasing the tray. "It's a lot heavier than I thought."

Kurt placed the tray on the table, and Bethany darted in and began allocating everyone their coffee mugs. "Grandpa, yours is the red one. Granny and Grandma have the blue ones, because you guys both take your coffee the same. Mom, Connor, I used your usual mugs. Dad and Jane, yours are green. Does anyone want cookies, too?"

"We're fine, Bee," Jane said reassuringly. "How about you? I don't see a drink for you here."

"Oh, I don't want one. I kinda feel like I'm gonna barf."

Allie began to rise from her chair, her hand outstretched as though to feel Bethany's forehead for a fever, but she smiled, shaking her head. "It's okay, Mom. I'm just nervous."

"What's all this fuss about?" Allie's mother asked kindly. "Come and sit down, Bee."

Bethany sat down, and Kurt noticed that her hands were trembling a little. His concern grew. What had made his daughter call this family meeting, and why was she so nervous about what she had to tell them?

Jane squeezed his hand briefly, and he shot her a smile, feeling his nerves settle a little. Even now, after more than a decade of marriage, knowing Jane was safely at his side made him calmer than anything else.

"Umm, okay," Bethany said, her voice a little timid. "So, uh, I brought you all here today because you're my family, and I love you, and I really want you to be a part of this. Ummm…"

She looked down at her hands, taking a deep breath, and Kurt's heart broke to see her so obviously anxious.

"It's okay, Bee. We all love you, too. That's not gonna change, no matter what," Allie said, reaching out to rub their daughter's shoulder in support.

"I hope so," Bee whispered, close to tears, and Kurt swallowed the lump in his throat. Whatever she was about to say obviously meant a lot to her.

Was she about to come out as a lesbian or bisexual? Somehow, Kurt doubted it. She'd seen them interact with her 'uncles', Rich and Boston, enough to know that all four of her parents, at least, were completely fine with homosexuality.

"Oh, god, are you pregnant?" Connor's mother asked, a faint note of horror in her voice.

Kurt's stomach churned at the possibility, though he also felt a stab of irritation at the woman, whom he'd never liked much, for making things more difficult for Bethany. If she _was_ pregnant—which would be a stretch, since Bee didn't seem to be all that interested in boys yet—Gloria's reaction would make it even harder for Bee to speak up about it.

"Mom," Connor said, shaking his head at her in reproach. "Let her speak."

"I'm not pregnant, Granny. I've never even kissed anyone."

_Oh, thank god._ Even though he'd been fairly sure that was the case, Kurt relaxed a little.

_I really want you to be a part of this._ He turned over Bethany's words in his mind. Had his daughter found some hobby that she was desperate to pursue, something that would take her out of the country or be a risk to her health? Or maybe this was a different kind of coming out. Maybe—

"I'm, ummm… I'm transgender. I know I look like a girl, but in my head, I'm a boy. I'd really like it if you could change the pronouns you use for me to 'he' and 'him'."

Kurt's brain got there just as Bethany said the words, and he sat back in his seat, processing.

His daughter—son?—had always been fairly tomboyish, which Kurt had attributed to having four cops as parents, and multiple other law-enforcement role models. She'd insisted on a short haircut earlier in the year, and had thrown out the few dresses and skirts she owned, favouring jeans and hoodies instead, but he hadn't made the connection until now.

Bee was sitting very still, her—_his_, Kurt corrected himself—head bowed as he waited for their reactions. Kurt could sense the fear radiating from him, as though he could hear the thoughts in Bee's head. _Please accept me as I am, please…_

He opened his mouth to speak, but Allie beat him to it. "Okay. Did you want to change your name, too?"

"Oh, honestly, Allie," Gloria said, shaking her head. She addressed her granddaughter—_grandson._ "Bethany, I know it's hard to be a girl in this man-dominated world, but trying to be a boy won't change that. I've changed enough of your diapers to know you're definitely a girl—"

"Mom, could you step out of the room, please?" Connor said, his voice stern. "And anyone else who has a problem with Bee's decision can go along too."

"Are you really going along with this? She's far too young to—"

"_Gloria._" Kurt gave her a cold stare. "Bee brought us here because this is important to him." The pronoun change snagged in his brain for a second, but he got there without slipping up. "He asked for our support, so if you're not gonna give him that, please leave."

For a second, an awful silence descended upon the room. Then both of Connor's parents got up, their faces pale and grim. After a hesitation, Allie's mother got up, too.

"Oh, _Mom_," Allie groaned.

"I'll call you later, Allie." Emily Knight leaned over and kissed the top of Bee's head. "I still love you, pumpkin. That will never change."

Bee bit his lip, his eyes full of tears, and nodded.

As the older generation left the house, Jane leaned forward and took Bee's hand. "So now I have a daughter and a son, huh? That's pretty cool."

Bee finally dared to raise his eyes, looking from Jane to Kurt, then to Allie and Connor. "You're all… You're all okay with this?"

"Did you think we wouldn't be, sweetie?" Connor asked gently.

"No, I kind of…" Bee swallowed a sob. "I kind of knew, because I heard you talking about the bathroom bills and stuff, but some people are different when it's their own kid."

Something about the way he said it made Kurt sure Bee had done plenty of research on this topic. _Oh, Bee. You've been thinking about this for a long time, haven't you?_

"Well, I guess I owe you a hundred bucks, Allie," he said, getting out his wallet.

Allie snickered, while everyone else looked at them in confusion.

"At your gender reveal party, I bet your mom fifty bucks you'd be a girl," Kurt told Bee. "So now, I have to refund the fifty bucks she gave me when we thought I won, _and_ give her the fifty I owe her because you're a boy."

Bee looked from him to Allie, and back, pure disgust on his face. "You guys had a penis-or-vagina party for me? That's so _wrong_."

Jane snickered into her coffee cup. Kurt knew she'd been uncomfortable at that party for many reasons, including that one, though she hadn't said anything until years later.

Allie looked down at her lap in embarrassment. "Hey, eleven or twelve years ago, everybody was having them, and I had some friends from work talk me into it. It was just an excuse to eat cake, really. I regret it now, and I'm sorry, Bee."

"It's okay. Since you're being cool now, I forgive you."

Kurt handed over the cash, cleaning out his wallet, and Allie tucked it into her pocket with a grin. "Guess that'll buy a few new clothes for Bee's closet."

"I can have new clothes? Boy clothes?" Bee's eyes lit up.

"Your clothes are pretty boy-ish already, but it's not every day you discover you have a son, so I think a celebratory shopping trip is in order," Connor said, pulling out his wallet. "Extra fifty to the Bee Wardrobe Fund."

"And fifty from me," Jane said, adding to the pile. "Gotta make sure you look like you feel, right?"

"You guys are the best parents ever," Bee said, smiling through his tears.

Allie put her arm around him, and Bee turned to throw his arms around his mother, his sniffles becoming sobs of relief and pain.

_Oh, Bee. You were so scared. I'm sorry. _Kurt discreetly wiped away a tear of his own, and Jane squeezed his hand again, her expression understanding.

"Do Granny and Grandpa and Grandma hate me now?" Bee asked, after he'd calmed down a little.

Connor's jaw tightened, but he shook his head. "No. They're just kind of shocked. Old people need time to get used to new ideas, and they're worried that you'll get picked on at school for being trans, I think. They don't understand that it'll make you feel way worse if you don't get to transition."

_And they're probably worried about what their friends will think, and what their pastor will think,_ Kurt added mentally, but didn't say anything to Bee. Poor kid had enough worries on his shoulders already.

"They'll come around," Jane said softly. "When they see how happy it makes you when you can really be yourself, they'll change their minds."

"And we'll talk to them," Kurt added. "And help them see why this is a good thing for you."

"Aren't _you_ worried that I'll change my mind?" Bee asked, wiping his eyes.

Allie shrugged. "No. If you change your mind, you can always just go back to being a girl, or someone in-between a boy and a girl. What matters is that you're you."

"Thanks," Bee whispered. "This is so much better than I thought this conversation was gonna go."

"Come here," Kurt said, beckoning to his emotionally exhausted son.

Bee approached him, and Kurt pulled him into his arms. "What you did today was really brave. I'm so proud of you."

"Me too," Jane and Allie murmured, almost in unison.

"That makes all of us," Connor added.

"So, you didn't answer my question," Allie said, as Bee pulled back from his father's embrace. "Do you have a better name for us to call you? I'm guessing you don't want to be Bethany anymore, right?"

"I thought maybe Ben? Benjamin?" he said tentatively.

"I like that," Jane said.

"Yeah, it has a nice ring to it for when I'm telling you to get off the Xbox," Allie agreed. "_Benjamin Knight-Weller, go do your homework right now!"_

Bee—now _Ben_—grinned.

"Come here, Ben," Jane said, holding out her arms. "My turn to hug you."

"Thanks, Jane," Ben said, wrapping his arms around his stepmother. "But, Dad… I was worried about what you'd think more than anyone else."

Kurt felt a pang of irrational hurt. Was he such a scary father? "You were?"

Pulling away from Jane, Ben sat on the arm of Kurt's chair, looking earnest. "Because you named me after your friend Bethany, who died. I thought maybe it'd be like she died all over again if I changed my name. I'm sorry I can't keep it for her."

"It's okay, buddy." Kurt shook his head, taking his son's hand. "Bethany Mayfair, she'd understand. I don't think I told you this before, but she was married to a man for a few years, trying to be straight, but she loved girls that whole time. Eventually, she just had to get a divorce and stop lying to herself. I know it's not exactly the same, but I don't think she'd want anyone who was named after her to try to be something they're not. Even if it means you don't have her name anymore."

"Okay." Ben shot him a tremulous smile.

"Do I get hugs too?" Connor requested, and as Ben crossed the room to hug his stepfather, Kurt, Jane and Allie exchanged looks that all held the same love and determination to do this right.

"You know, someone who works in the lab at my precinct is a trans woman," Connor said, as he released Ben. "She has to take hormones every day—"

"Yeah, I know about that stuff. I was, uh, gonna ask you about that next. I'm getting older, but I really, really don't want to have periods and boobs like a girl. I think about that stuff, and I get really scared, and sometimes I feel like someone's choking me." Ben's shoulders grew hunched, and he had trouble meeting any of their eyes.

_Oh, kiddo. I hate that you have to feel like this._

Kurt looked swiftly at Allie, conferring with her as Ben's other biological parent. Allie took a deep breath, and nodded.

Kurt took a moment to get his thoughts in order, before saying slowly, "Can you give us a couple of days to check the internet, see what's the best way to do this? Then we can see about getting you a doctor's appointment, as soon as we've got a plan."

Ben's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Really," Allie confirmed.

"You're all so awesome!" He dashed around the room, giving all four of them another quick hug, then ran towards the door. "I can have internet time, right? I want to tell Lisa how the talk went."

"Just an hour," Allie cautioned, smiling. "You still have that project to do before Monday."

"Okay, I'll do it, I swear." Ben hesitated in the doorway. "Thank you. I love you guys."

Kurt smiled at the heartfelt words. "We all love you, too."

Their son nodded, then disappeared towards the stairs. The clomping of his footsteps faded as all four of them looked around at each other.

Allie heaved a sigh. "Well, that explains why her grades were slipping. _His. _His grades," she corrected, shaking her head. "Gotta get used to that."

"It's great that he felt like he could mention it now, though. Instead of waiting until puberty hit him, and he really started to panic." Jane glanced sadly at Kurt. "You okay? It was hard to hear him talking about not being able to breathe."

Kurt nodded. "I, uh… I don't know enough about this, but I want to learn. For Ben's sake. He's gonna have it hard when he comes out at school. He's really gonna need us."

Connor picked up his coffee cup, sighing. "I'm so sorry about my parents."

"And my mother," Allie added.

"Hey, at least we got rid of them early in the conversation, so Ben doesn't have to hear them say anything else just yet." Jane shrugged. "It could have been so much worse."

"I doubt my parents would have been any more reasonable, assuming I let them be around him at all," Kurt said.

"Ditto for Shepherd," Jane said ruefully.

"God, how could they say that when she—_he_—was so nervous?" Connor said. "He made everyone coffee, made sure we were all comfortable… Did you see his hands shaking when he was just about to tell us? They could have at least kept their mouths shut until he wasn't in the room."

"I'll talk to my mom. I don't think it'll take much to make her come around. Your parents, though…" Allie added, glancing at Connor.

"Just let us know if you need some backup," Jane offered. "I know they're not a huge fan of my tattoos, though, so maybe I should stay out of it."

"Tattoos, sex education in schools, any religion that's not theirs, queer rights…" Connor scowled. "They're stuck in the fifties. I swear, I'll cut them out of our lives completely before I let them do any harm to our kid."

Allie reached out to take her husband's hand. "It's okay. Let's see how things go. They love their grandchild. We just have to convince them that he's the same kid they loved yesterday, only yesterday he was hiding a secret that was dragging him down and depressing him."

Connor nodded, trying to relax.

"Sorry if I overstepped my bounds," Kurt finally remembered to say. "I just…I needed Ben to hear that we were on his side, even if Gloria wasn't."

"It's okay, Kurt. I don't think my next words would have been nearly that diplomatic." Connor slumped back in his seat. "I'm sorry. I should be thinking about supporting Ben, but I'm just stuck on what they were saying. I hardly expect anything from them, and I'm still disappointed, you know?"

"Parents can really get under your skin," Jane said sympathetically. "Which is why I'm so glad Bee—Ben—felt like he could talk to us. I think we're doing mostly okay, the four of us. Don't you?"

"Except for the early years, when we were out of the country, running from terrorism charges," Kurt put in. "But he won't remember most of that, and I think Allie and Connor were pretty solid parents while we were gone. So yeah. All things considered, I think we're doing pretty good."

"You realise you just jinxed us, right, guys?" Connor grinned.

"You totally did," Allie said, amused. "If he gets hooked on Fox News now, I'm blaming you."

"Daaaad?" Ben yelled from upstairs.

Kurt got up and went to the bottom of the stairs. "Yeah, buddy?"

"Can we get Aunt Sarah, Aunt Patterson, Uncle Ed, Aunt Tasha and Uncle Rich to come over, so I can tell them like I told you?" Ben stood on the top stair, a hopeful expression on his face.

Kurt smiled a little. "I don't know if they'll all be free anytime soon, but we can ask. If they can't make it, we can always get them on Skype?"

"I guess," Ben said. "But I miss them, so they should come over soon anyway."

"I know, bud. I miss them, too." _Even Rich. Who'd have thought my kid would be calling him 'Uncle Rich' one day? Not that I'd ever want to leave them alone unsupervised, where we can't change the subject before the conversation gets too inappropriate…_

"I like that," Ben said, a little shyly. "When you call me 'buddy' and 'bud'."

"It's what I used to call Sawyer when he was growing up," Kurt said.

Ben nodded. "That's cool." He hesitated. "Don't tell them about me, okay? I want to be the one to do it."

"I'll make sure no one says anything. Go get back on the internet before your hour is up, okay, bud?"

"Yeah. See you later." Ben moved back out of view.

As he returned to the living room, Kurt smiled to himself. Though he worried about what the next few years held for Ben—bigotry and body changes, as well as the usual mood swings that came with adolescence—having the trust of his son meant the world to him, as he was sure it did to Allie, Jane and Connor. Together, they could handle anything life threw at them, and even if they screwed something up, as all parents did at times, they'd straighten things out again.

Kurt had worried about being a bad father when Allie had broken the news that she was pregnant, but he'd learned what not to do from his own parents, and from Jane's mother—though he'd mercifully spent very little time around Shepherd. He relied on Jane and Allie to tell him when he was straying into habits learned from his parents, and he did the same for them.

They just needed to keep on loving and respecting Ben, listening to his point of view rather than dismissing his experiences. That was all any parent could do for their child, no matter how challenging life became.


End file.
